you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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