I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
