these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
