Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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