dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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