you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
