considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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