its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
