thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize