i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
