Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
