You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
