tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
