Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize