doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
