I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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