OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
