I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
