i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Randomize
