How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
