so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
