nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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