he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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