I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
