Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
