Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
