remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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