It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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