Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
