Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
as a side note pls kill me
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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