I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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