Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Just cropdusted the office
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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