Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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