youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
