two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
