my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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