Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
