i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
