Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
