So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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