More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
