If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i would punch a child for taco bell
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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