when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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