I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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