I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
