Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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