He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
