just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
