you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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