you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
