Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
