5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
